Sometimes in life it feels like being in the trenches. You are standing in mud, feel like you are pinned down and stuck, backed into a corner, or have limited tools and resources to be able to get the kind of life you are seeking.
Your aspirations of buying a home, pursuing your hobbies, getting the promotion you want, or going on holidays seem so out of reach that you feel like flying the white flag and surrendering to your current lot in life and accepting mediocrity. Feeling this way can literally bog you down. You lose motivation, you start focusing on everything that is not working, even your posture changes as the weight of the world bears down on your shoulders. You start to think this must be as good as it gets.
Not so! It doesn’t have to be that way.
Firstly, you are never completely alone although it may seem like it at times. You just might not know where to look or what questions to ask. You are not the first person to ever think that you are the only one going through this. Here are four steps to getting out of the trenches and back into the flow of life:
Keep going and recognise that being in the trenches is a passing stage
Winston Churchill once said “If you are going through hell, keep going”, and they did and eventually the time in the trenches passed and the allies won the war.
There is one thing for certain. Time passes, seasons come and go and now might just be the time when you need to hunker down, batten down the hatches and ride it out. It is during these times that getting back to the fundamentals of life are important and getting back to looking after the simple things that make your life function on a day to day basis. Things like managing your time well, building long lasting relationships, watching your finances.
Refocus on finding a solution
“What you think and talk about grows”. Have you ever noticed that you get stuck sometimes when you focus on the problem and the way it makes you feel? You are stuck in relationship, you have no time, and your money is limited. Choose not to be part of the problem by focussing on the problem itself; choose rather to look for the solution. Sure, identify and accept you are struggling in these areas and rather than getting bogged down and deflated by how it all seems and feels: seek the answer. What needs to change to ensure you find your way out of the trenches?
Surround yourself with people who support you personally
Look at your current network. Identify and connect often with your personal support team, the ones that you can trust to uplift you and cheer you on. The people that is easy, fun and supportive to spend time with. These might be friends, relatives, colleagues or the chap at the local newsagent. Avoid the ones that drain you (at least until you are out of the trenches) and just want to wallow in the trenches with you. If you don’t have anyone consider joining a group of likeminded people who share your interests.
Seek out trusted professionals
There are times when your nearest and dearest friends and family don’t have the answers or are not qualified in a particular area to give sound advice that meets your particular needs. It’s great they have found a diet that works for them or they get a great tax return, but your personal circumstances are unique to you. There are times when you can avoid a whole world of pain in lost time, financial loss, and not to mention tension between friends when things go pear shaped. For example, you have a raging toothache and a tooth needs to be extracted. Would you ask your best friend to pull it out for you?
Maybe you are looking to build your investment portfolio to give you security in the future. Would you act on your mate’s hunch or seek out someone who asks you the proper questions, does the research and can give you options that are tailored to your unique needs?
What if you are not feeling yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually? You can’t understand why you are feeling a little off your game all the time. Your health is important to you. Do you go with the latest health craze recommended by your hairdresser or do you seek out the right solution for you personally?
Conversely, your well-meaning friends may warn you off a fantastic opportunity based on their own bad personal experience. Remember, you don’t know all their details and what didn’t work for them might be just what you need to do. Take a moment to ask: Did they seek professional advice, did they follow that advice or are they just giving you advice based on their own fears or biases?
Why would you do any of this?
Life doesn’t have to be lived in the trenches day to day, every day. How long you stay in the trenches is a function of how long you are willing to be there and what steps you are prepared to take to step up on the level, clear ground again.
By exploring these four steps you have the opportunity to climb out of the trenches, take charge of your life and put the steps in place that support you to buy that home, create in your hobbies, move forward in your career, spend time on holidays with your family, or whatever it is that you want in life. Getting back in the flow of life is a process and only you have control over when you start.
Jennylee Taylor is Life Coach and Breathwork Practitioner supporting and empowering you to be great managers of your world through reducing stress and overwhelm, and balancing life so you can enjoy loving relationships, contentment now and financial security in your future.
Jennylee coaches in the Design a Decade Life Management Program using a set of tools which support you to design and achieve your aspirations and goals for your next decade. Jennylee also supports people to break through personal emotional and mindset barriers so you can be the best you in the world and achieve your goals.
Would you like more info? Feel free to contact me for a chat
My passions are nature, people, and building cultures of cooperation, harmony, sharing and reverence for life. I enjoy working with people to help them understand themselves and others so they can reach their full potential in life.